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Kiala Kazebee 18 February 2008

Kiala Kazebee

Freelance writer, blacksmith, astronaut, and eye cream advocate.

Choose two.

Kiala Kazebee is a righter living in NW Portland. She is also an excellent spellur if you ever have need of a proofreader. Her services don’t come cheap, however, as she has a husband, a cat, and a dog to support. Her husband Dane has a “career” in “web development” for a “prominent” advertising agency and we all know how little money those companies make so as far as the bread winning is concerned, Kiala shoulders this responsibility by earning tens of fifteens of dollars a week writing for The Portland Mercury and various other blogs – excuse me, online journals and websites.

Not unlike her hero John Updike, Kiala has both a first AND a last name and an obsession with East Coast Upper Middle Class infidelity. This is why the upcoming March 4th debut of the Bravo reality show The Real Housewives of New York City is the only thing getting her through February. That and a case of New Deal Vodka.

Kiala enjoys writing about food, tv, video games, things that upset her (i.e. vegan bike messengers), and pornography. Sorry, FILMOGRAPHY.

If you would like to pay her to write about any of these things she might hug you. She hopes this doesn’t make you uncomfortable but even if it does, she would still like to keep the money.

Freelance writer, blacksmith, astronaut, and eye cream advocate. Two of these things are true. You choose which two.

What are you up to?

Currently, I am working on a novel about blank pages and what those pages mean to me. This involves a lot of ruminating on the actions of fate and saying the words “published” and “novel” loudly in public, preferably near cute boys. I would like very much to write some day about being 13 years old and making a pass at the Cruise Director of the Royal Princess while sailing through the locks of the Panama Canal. I think that one moment of embarrassment should torture people for 350 pages as it has tortured me for 350 years.

What are you into?

I like karaoke, nutrition, alcohol, and talking. Right now I’m obsessed with finding a new hobby for myself. Any suggestions? Please don’t say scrapbooking. I don’t want to do that.

What do you like most about Portland?

Everything. Except the vegan bike messengers. Have I mentioned them already?

Why hasn’t the New Yorker made you the Editor Ad Infinitum of their Shouts and Murmurs column yet?

I can only assume they’re having touble deciding how to decorate my office.

I’ll help. Mid century modern. With a bar cart. And maybe a cheese plate.

How do you manage to write for so many blogs and papers a day and still be a perfect housewife and model of the community?

One word.

Bourbon.

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